Friday, April 25, 2008

What an EMOTIONAL day!!!!!!!!!!!

Today has just been another one of THOSE days. I have been SO emotional about everything. I am certainly blaming it on some fast acting Provera I took last night, that's for sure! LOL I have been trying to convince Charles and myself to take at least a six month break from trying to have a baby. He's been saying no. I've been saying yes. It's been back and forth, back and forth. Just the whole possibilty of moving and new jobs and selling our house and my classes and jobs and just life... Well after spending like ALL day talking about this I decided myself that I was taking at least a six month break. Trying to convince myself that this will be best as certainly by then I'll be at my goal weight/size.

So, tonight I even posted on the trying to concieve forum to the AMAZING gals (my support system) that I was not trying anymore and would not be on as often... I had posted to the three threads I'm apart of and when I just happened to check out the "weight loss and TTC" section there was a rather new reply to a topic I posted on those that had tried the South Beach Diet, especially PCOS'ers, and their success. This response was posted April 13, 2008 from someone I do not know. Yeah, she's even from GEORGIA and this is a WORLD WIDE forum... how likely is THAT??

"I just bought the south beach diet book. I will just type word for word a very interesting part! "Many of the dieters who came to us through the TV news coverage have been in their twenties and thirties. One young woman, 30 lbs overweight, had been trying to conceive for 7 years. She tried the diet, lost the weight in just a few months, and then discovered she was pregnant. Though we were willing to take credit for this pleasant turn of events, it wasn't until about a year later that I discovered why the diet had allowed her to conceive. There is a condition called polycystic ovary syndrome that is a common cause of abnormal periods and infertility in young women. It turns out that it is due to insulin resistence or prediabetes. By reversing this syndrome with the diet, her periods normalized and a successful pregnancy followed." I have never been diagnosed with pcos but something is definitely wrong or not working right. I thought this was interesting and it brought tears to my eyes!!"

I just started crying... This, I feel, is my promise God has made me. I WILL one day have a baby. All in HIS timing. I just feel like God is telling me NOT to give up. I also feel so very reassured that I am headed down the right path by going and staying on the South Beach diet. I ALSO have just under 30 pounds left to my goal weight (same as the gal in the story!)... This TOO was exactly what I needed to hear after this emotional rollar coaster of a ride day I have had!!!!

Gosh, I serve an AWESOME and AMAZING GOD!!!!!!!!!! A God who cares SO MUCH about ME to put into place both yesterday's Angel and today's Angel that posted 11 days ago... That they all happened at exactly the right time, in the right order, and in a manner that I could hear Him. How can I not trust someone who does all this just for me?? Not to mention the orchastration that He did several years ago in the introduction of the lady who reconnected with me for no reason who pointed me in the direction of this new Dr. Wow. My head is spinning just trying to place all these puzzle pieces together!!!! I'll stop and just trust. As hard as that is sometimes...

Off to take another pill to make me more hormonal!!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

FINALLY, I have ANSWERS!!!

This has been one of the most frustrating processes I have ever experienced!!!! It has taken me almost ONE full week to find out my test results!!! AHHH!!! But finally, I have them. ReadY?? This was one of my "tests" to see if my adhereance to the South Beach Diet is indeed paying off in more than me loosing weight...

As a reminder! In order for me to have been considered to have Ovulated my Progesterone levels need to be at least 3.3 or higher. And for the Fasting Insulin anything below 17 is normal. 10-17 is considered to be Insulin Resistant or Pre-Diabetic with ideally being below 10.

So, the results are... Drum roll please!!!!

Progesterone 0.5 (yeah, no Ovulation but that's okay) and Fasting Insulin 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOO!!!! Yes, I am jumping up and down as I type this!!!!!!!! When I had my levels checked 10/06 they were 12.6 so that is a HUGE drop!!!!

He informed me that with that number he is not even considering putting me on Metformin!!!! :-) YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm not excited or anything...)

So, his POA for me includes starting Provera (Synthetic Progesterone to trick my body into thinking I did Ovulate and in two weeks having a nice period to "clean me out". On day 3 of my new cycle to come in and have an Endometrial Biopsy done (yes, I hurt just thinking about it!) and get a rx for Femera (An Ovulation inducer medication). When I asked him if I should do anything this cycle with the amount of stress I'm under in regards to selling the house, double the class load, and two jobs he said yes as I am stuck in a "cycle rut" where I am not ovulating and unless I do something to change this it will continue on as is and I'll never get pg. He said even if I want to prevent this cycle that's fine but my body needs to re-learn how to ovulate and have a normal cycle.

So after talking thoroughly with Charles about this, we have decided to move forward with this plan. Not sure if we're going to TRY or Prevent this cycle but we'll come there when we get there... :-) I called the office and had them call in the Provera rx and will pick it up after work.

So, on my way to Publix to pick up my rx Charles and I had a nice talk... more like me stressing out and wondering what to do/not to do. I was then greeted by a new Pharmacist who was a petite thin lady. She was VERY helpful in getting the insurance info straightened out (it was not updated) and then proceeded to ask me about taking Provera and instructed me out. THEN went even further to ask why i was taking it and when I told her to bring on my period we had a nice chat about that and started talking even more about the fertility stuff. She shared that she too has PCOS (which I am no longer considered PCOS just PCO as with not having Insulin Resistance it's not the syndrome just the ovaries) but has one miracle child. She said how she believed that this would do the trick for me and that "He" has a plan and it's all in "His" timing as we just have to be patient and trust. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and from the person I needed to hear it from!!! :-) I think she is my Angel Pharmacist...

So, tonight I popped my first two pills of Provera... Will see what the next 9 days bring for me!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy 30th Birthday Matt!!!

Today's the BIG 3-0 day!!! :-) Half way to 60... I hope you had a wonderful day and you did as you had to come and pick up your specules (sp?) from me so you had the privilage of seeing ME on your birthday!

On another note, we had our second Financial Peace class tonight! :-) It was GREAT!!! We are learning so much and hope to have our finances transformed through this!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Monday. Another day.

Today, although Monday, was a day to both look forward to and one I was rather nervous about. I worked in the AM. Had another acu visit at 2pm which was WONDERFUL yet again... :-) I LOVE it. I even fell asleep this time! Then tonight we were having Matt's 30th Birthday party at our house. He only wanted family which is great but also nerve wracking as to how everyone would be under one roof... Yes, that was particulary with mom and dad and each their spouses. I'm SO thankful that everything went wonderfully!!!! :-) Unfortunately Ray was sick and unable to attend but everyone else was here and I had fun and believe everyone else did too!

In saying this, I am NOT expecting this to be an everyday occurance but it is nice to know that each can be civil when it comes to big events that all are invited to (HINT HINT HINT) as in my graduation in just under 10 weeks!!! :-)

I'll post pics in a bit...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Jack, oh the medical mysteries Jack has!

Today was semi uneventful. Well, except for noticing that Jack's tummy was swollen. Charles worked until noon and when he got home he noticed he was a bit swollen as well. I was stuck at the computer doing homework ALL stinking day... It was the last weekend of that class so tons of stuff due. Neither of us thought much about it. As the evening went on, we met up with a couple friend at LongHorn in Peachtree City before they headed off to church. *She also happens to be our Vet* After dinner we headed to Wal-Mart to pick up some goods and got home about 9pm ish. It was then that we both clued in on Jack's tummy and how amazingly swollen it was and rock hard. Knowing me, I immediately Googled swollen tummy in dog and the constant that kept coming up is Bloat which is life threatening. So, I tried calling our Vet friend and she did not answer her cell nor house so we decided since it could potentially be life threatening to head to the emergency vet. We arrived there about 10pm. While we were waiting there were several REALLY bad cases come in and we heard one dog be put to sleep. You could hear this horrible breathing/coughing and then it just stopped. :-( The next thing was the couple left with very red faces and crying so we knew what happened... I told Charles I did not like being there!!! About 10:45pm our friend calls and asks me where we were. i told her at the vet she said GREAT! You need to be... Asked how Jack was doing and said that it can be indeed life threatening so she was glad we were there and to call her tomorrow to update her.

After waiting FOREVER Jack was taken back to have an x-ray done to see if he was indeed full of gas. After all the blood work and all was done we were seen by the Dr. She was amazing! Dr. Sarah Wheat! :-) She told us they are sending us home with a dx of Pancrentitus (sp?) but that due to other suspesions she had to also throw out the big "C" word (Cancer) but did not necessarily think so. Charles stopped listening I think at that news... We are talking about here his "little man" as he referrs to Jack often or "the orig". They of course recommended to keep Jack over the weekend until Monday AM when I would pick him up and take him straight to our vet to be seen. We declined. We were instead sent home with meds and told to keep a bland diet over the weekend and if he worsened to bring him right back. *All this time he is acting 100% normal so that threw everyone off. Just the size of his tummy was shocking...*

So, all weekend long Charles was a wreck wondering what was going on with his dog and what were we going to do if he did have that C word and all... We did not get home until about 3AM Sunday morning and thus slept until 10:30am. :-) How wonderful that was!!! Our friend called to check on Jack and gave the run down Sunday afternoon. We chatted and I was going to bring him to see her Monday sometime to have an u/s done to see if indeed he did have Cancer.

Morning morning I called and scheduled an appt. at 4pm. He was seen and the u/s was done. He did great. Laid there while she poked and prooded him and took all kinds of pictures of his insides. :-) We got the best news!!! NO CANCER!!!! Just Pancrentitus (Sp?) and to stay on a bland diet for about a week before going on a Sensitive Stomach food. YEAH!! Charles is now sleeping again and not worried about his "little guy". I can only imagine what he'll do when we have kids...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

One Baby step at a time

Well, we did it! We started Financial Peace University, the Dave Ramsey guided approach to getting debt free!!! :-) It's all Christian based and well, tonight was great! We're very much looking forward to the next 12 weeks where we continue to learn more and more on how to handle our finances and get to DEBT FREE!!!!!! :-)

K, off to watch American Idol! I like David Archuleta (SP?) and Brooke White (She's my twin soul mate... haha!)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Signed and moving forward!

We have officially recieved our signed copy of the contract we have on our house!!! Tomorrow the inspector is coming out to check out the house and make sure it's liveable... :-) Um, and then we have to have an appraisal done (they pay for that!) and we're keeping everything crossed it appriased for at least $162,700!!! That's what they're financing and well, if it comes in lower or anything then the mortgage company won't finance it! Ah! I hate this whole house recession thing... But regardless, we're excited to be moving forward!

On another note... I went to a new gyno today to talk well about getting me knocked up. :-) *Doesn't that sound SO lady like?? haha!!* I go on Friday for a Progesterone test to check if I have Ovulated yet or not and to do a fasting insulin levels... I'm PRAYING that my insulin levels are normal and therefore no pressure to go on Metformin. AH! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!!!! When I last had the test done, October 2006, my levels were only slightly elevated but still considered normal just not at the number or below they wished it would be. I was also 30 pounds heavier then so I'm hoping that with the weight loss and drastic change in eating habits over the last like 6 weeks (on the South Beach Diet) I will be perfectly fine! :-) Yeah, i'm hoping too that I have ovulated already but not so much that my insulin levels are normal!!! The new gyno has a plan of action for me/us regardless of how the tests turn out and we'll decide what we want to pursue on Monday (that's when we'll find out the results) and go from there...

K, off to rest, relax, and take something for this headache of mine! :-( I guess nothing works miracles as I went for my second acu visit today and it's still here... Oh well!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

All things 25

As in the number of places that Charles is currently on their selection lists for the FAA/ATC... Wanna know what places?? Here ya go!

OH, OK, IN, WV, IA, KY, MO, East St. Louis, IL, Champaign, IL, MI, MT, NV, WY, WI, ID, MD, NC, OR, SC, AZ, CT, VT, NE, SD, and GA.

So we're back to our "wait and see" yet stinking again!!! Oh well, at least now we have the house to focus on with packing/cleaning/moving/etc.!

Onto another FABULOUS 25 number... Charles has lost 25 pounds as of TODAY!!!!!!!!!! YEAH HONEY!!!! :-) *Don't ask about me as it's not that much but I'm still happy with tne amount but continuing to loose...*

K, so it's time for breakfast. :-) Have a LOVELY day people!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

We got an OFFER!!!!

We are officially in negotiation stages but we got a GREAT offer!!! It comes out to be $108 per SF and in Coweta County that is considered A LOT!!! :-) We're SO excited! They want to close May 23, 2008... Now, to make things a bit more stressful is I'm starting TWO classes (it is only recommended to take one at a time as they are a LOT of work...) 4/22 and those will be done 5/26! So this next month is going to be KILLER on me!!! I will not turn down any offered help so don't offer unless you're willing to really HELP! :-)

Now onto the exciting part... I have those two classes until 5/26 and then I start my absolute LAST CLASS EVER for my Bachelors degree!!!!!!!!! :-) Now THAT could not be anymore exciting if you ask me!!!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Let's talk.

Yes, I am going to write this as though I am sitting and having tea with you during a beautiful afternoon in the early spring and imagine all the beautiful flowers and trees starting to bud. (One thing I will leave out in my imaginary picture is all the stinking pollen we currently have here in Georgia that is making my green car YELLOW!)

So, topics include the AMAZING thing that happened this weekend... Um, Graduation is officially 11 weeks 4 days away. Um. Oh and yes, and a little conversation on now that we are out in the open about our struggles with getting pregnant and such I DO NOT want people to feel as though they have to walk on egg shells around us.

K, so first off, the amazing only God-coordinated thing that happend this weekend... A bit of background first. Back about two years ago, I was in a bible study with a few other gals. One, Jamie, who I learned has been struggling with infertility for a few years now. She mentioned her Dr. and how amazing he is and how I should go see him. Well, that's when we were not really trying/not preventing type thing. My gyno SUCKS (Keep reading Cindy before you get upset and disagree! LOL) when it comes to talking about getting pg but wonderful for the whole gyno stuff. He's so easy to talk to. Makes you feel somewhat comfortable in such an uncomfortable situation. Anyways, like I said, he's horrible when it comes to getting pregnant and running tests... It's like putting teeth, and I'm not a dentist! So, this past weekend was a very tough weekend for us. At church on Sunday I felt the need to go talk to someone and the persons who greeted us happened to be our pastor and his wife. We kind of gave them the lo down on all that's happened and she asked if we knew anyone who could relate to what I was going through. Well, I told her the only person I could think of was Jamie and I had not spoken to her in ages (even though she lives in my neighborhood about three houses down and around the corner! LOL) So, she says I should give her a call.

We left Sunday. I did not call. Monday afternoon I get a phone call from, yep, Jamie! out of the stinking blue!! We talked. I asked if she had talked to our pastor's wife and she was absolutely shocked so this was nothing but an act of God! it's like God was saying fine you won't call so I'll have her pick up the phone and call! LOL We chatted for a bit. I got her Dr. info. And that was it.

When I was estatic about the events that just took place, my husband came walking through the door and although excited, he does not show it as I would wish him to. So, i called someone who would! LOL i called my mom. She was excited with me and although excited, reminded me that this may not necessarily me getting pregnant right away but God's way of showing me He had not forgotten about me... I thought that was so sweet and so true! So either way, I'm taking it as God has NOT forgotten about me although at times I may think so...

K, so although that is super duper excited I called today and the first available time was NEXT Monday just before my second acu appt. :-) So, it should be a great day!

Onto other topics... It has come to my attention that now that people KNOW what we've gone through and struggled with, it's become a taboo word to say "baby" or "family" or "kids" or "pregnant" or any other type of words. This is the last thing I want! I am not at the point where I see a baby or a pregnant woman and I just cry. I may be there in five years if we still don't have kids but I am not right now. I will be honest and say that although I am excited to hear of a baby coming into the world, I just about always have a mini pitty party for myself, but only after I bask in the excitement of a fellow woman sharing this joyout news! It's exciting for me to walk into the baby section of any store and just look or even (shhh, don't tell Charles! LOL) buy a little something for the reminder that one day, it will happen to me too. Yes, I have a baby stash already and SO many cute little gender neutral stuff!!!! :-) I am still nanny'ing and now that I'm working at the Y, I am around a lot more kids and I enjoy this. I still volunteer in the church baby baby room when they need me and I enjoy this. I get to cuddle and enjoy the sweet smell newborns naturally have and I would not give it up. At least not right now. One day Charles and I will have a family... I don't know if I'll give birth to our kids or we'll give birth to them via our hearts. Whatever God has planned. Until then, please do not feel the need to walk on egg shells around us during this time in our lives. Thank you for thinking of us, but I don't want this heartache for us to jeopardize any feelings that anyone else has.

Oh yes, and also wanted to add that since Graduation is quickly approaching I'm sure everyone is looking to find the best Graduation present they can for me, the one that was never supposed to finish school or even go as, ironically enough, I was supposed to be pregnant when I got married or at least have three babies by now thus not allowing me to finish school. haha! Boy will I prove SO MANY people wrong the day I walk across that stage and accept my diploma for completion of my Bachelor's Degree in Human Service/Management... And I must add that I'm always up for any donations when it comes to Ovulation Predictor Tests (The Answer Brand please), Home Pregnanct Tests (anything but the Dollar Tree/General as they give HORRIBLE Evap lines), and um, gift certificates to massages, facials, or even now acupuncture. :-) haha!

Friday, April 4, 2008

My first acupuncture visit...

Yes, this morning I ventured into Peachtree City, my whopping 10 minutes drive, for my very first acupuncturist visit. I'll bring you up to speed on how and why this came about... Before anyone bashes my decision to visit an acupuncturist, as someone else put it, they are obviously doing something right with their use of acu and making babies as they are WAY over populated and down to a single baby limit!

First off, back in 2005 while working at the Bank I had these HORRID shoes I got and well, wearing them every day did nerve damage in my right pinky toe. :-( Ever since, it occassionally acts up and disappears. It's more annoying than anything else. So, I've been complaining about my pinky toe and Charles tells me to go see an acupuncturist. I'm like yeah, whatever. I push it aside. Well, once we dove into the pool of trying to have a baby, I have read a TON of material and one thing that always comes up when it comes to naturally TTC is acupuncture. I figured it would be a good excuse to use my pinky toe to go and see what they had to say in regards to PCOS and TTC...

So, I schedule an appointment with a lady who came highly recommended by a lady my mom works with. She told me the first apptointment is two full hours and I was like holy cow. But, she wants to not be rushed and go over everything, yes, everything! I walked in and this petite lady who reminded me SO much of my Aunt Judi greeted me. She was so nice and welcoming and just made me feel so comfortable. We sat in her office and chatted for about an hour. I figured since I was there, I would lay out EVERYTHING I could possibly think of! LOL I mentioned first off, my pinky toe, then moved onto my all the sudden sinus problems (thanks to the pollen that is blanketing my car), the occassional sciatia (sp?) nerve issues, and the last two days worth of backaches. At the end I brought up PCOS and that is where she had a field day talking about how acu helps so much and it's more of an overall wellbeing than just the acu and yada yada yada! She spoke so confidently and provided me lots of reassurance that not "IF" I get pregnant but "WHEN" I do... We then proceeded to the acu room.

Here, starting face down, she told me that I am allowed to feel the needle go in but immediately following I should not feel the needle at all. I said okay. She then said, okay, you have the first needle in. I was in shock as I did not feel anything! :-) YEAH!!! Okay, I will say that I did feel a couple of the needles but they did immediately go away to feeling absolutely nothing. I think she put like six or seven in various spots on my back. Then I laid there for about 30 minutes with this quiet peaceful music playing with dimmed lights. I was almost asleep when she entered to inform me to turn onto my back. Here she put two needles on each arm, one in my right pinky toe acu point, one on the top of each foot, one at each hip bone area, and like four right at my panties line. Almost immediately I felt what I describe as "Fish swimming around in my stomach" and she said, great! you're feeling the energy move! :-) YEAH!!! I felt something! This continued throughout my appointment and into the couple hours to follow the appointment. I again laid there in peace and quiet, minus the toilet that was upstairs that kept being flushed and thus hearing the romantic water flowing through the pipes to only disappear, for about 30 minutes... It was SO relaxing and forced me to just breathe and be still.

Afterwards, I met Amelia and family up for lunch (well, I didn't eat as I had leftovers at home from the delicious dinner Matthew and Chad made last night!) and hung out for a couple of hours and then here I sit, relaxing watching the clock tick by until I get to pick hubby up from the airport!!!! ;-) YEAH!!!!!

So, the hopes are with this acu that not only will my pinky toe be 100% back to normal but that it will help my uterus accept a fertilized eggie and produce a baby!!!!! Until that time comes, I will thoroughly enjoy the relaxation it provides me and all the other healing properties that come along with it!