Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My husband...

...deserves the best husband "gold star" this week!

The story.

This past weekend I was talking with a long time dear friend, A. Sometime into our conversation she mentioned having the utmost respect for Charles with him sticking beside me during the last four plus years of this infertility journey. Then she went on to say that so many men she knows/knew would not have stuck with their wives for this long if they so desired to be parents and yet she could not give them children and yet again how she respects Charles for doing so.

And in a weird way I found comfort and was reminded of just how absolutely amazing my husband is... He is amazing. He reminds me when I have moments of our infertility be a me problem that it is indeed a we problem...

So I sent him a text {he was at work of course} and told him of my conversation with A and what she had said. Then I thanked him for being him and this is the response I got back that absolutely made my heart mush and I've completely fallen in love with this amazing man all over again!!!

"I would rather never ever have a child if it meant I couldn't have you"


That is an amazing man God has so blessed to be my husband... We've been married for 6 1/2 years and I feel like I've fallen in love with him for the very first time this past weekend!

My heart is so overwhelmed with love for him that I so want a family with him to share this overflowing love I have and to make him a daddy all the more!!!

I'm one lucky women... And I know it. Which makes the good times all the better!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Baby sound.

I think one of the absolute sweetest sounds in the world is that of sucking. You know... Okay maybe not. I'll try to explain.

A, one of the twins I nanny for, does this. When he is all comfy, which majority of the time is when he has his "ellie" {elephant mini blanket that has a rattle and satin on the other side} and is laying in bed ready for nap time. He puts the satin up to his face and starts making this suckling sound. It's so sweet and so soft and just so innocent.

It's a baby sound.

And I'm reminded of this as I type with our dog, Jill, laying under my feet. She's off in dreamland herself and yet makes me want to check on a baby as she too is making this sucking sound!

Oh I cannot wait until I can hold my baby and watch them sleep and hear all the little noises they'll make...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Blog Award!

Thanks Chirleen @ Confessions of a TTC-A-Holic for this Happy blogging award! :-)

Now, since I've accepted this award nomination, I must list 10 things that make my day and then list 10 blogs who deserve this award. Wow - only 10? If I nominate you, please do the same on your blog!

10 things that make my day -
1. Kisses from my husband. Nothing sweeter. Nothing more special. So tender and full of love {and often laughter too}. :-)

2. Our pups being so excited to see me, even if it is just because I've hidden around the corner.

3. When I save a nice chunk of change at the grocery store due to all the coupons I bombarded the cashier with. What a feeling!

4. Getting a random phone call from an old friend. Although it may have been awhile since we last talked, we always seem to laugh and chat like no time has passed.

5. Watching America's Funniest Home Videos and laughing hysterically at other's stupidness! {Although often the winners usually piss me off as they're always the most non-funny ones!}

6. Hearing a song on the radio and it speaking straight to my heart like it is a direct message from God.

7. Talking to my family on the phone. Any of them!

8. Planning for the next time I see any of my family... 'Cause I miss them!!!!

9. Receiving comments on my blog, texts, e-mails, or other messages to let me know that I'm being thought of. Great feeling knowing that so many are rooting for you and care about you!

10. When I get hugs and kisses from my nanny boys, N & A! Or when they see me and their faces light up. Oh my heart just melts...

Wow. I have so many more things that make my day!!! {I try really hard to appreciate the little things in life!} Too bad it just calls for 10...

For my list of 10 Deserving Blogs -
1. Making Me Mom

2. Frugal Fun and Fortune

3. An Unexpected Life

4. Dreams of A Baby

5. God's Faithfulness Through Infertility

6. Inconceivable Journey

7. So it Goes

8. The Adventures of Miss K

9. The Great Big IF...

10. While I'm Waiting


Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happy Birthday Ryan!

Today's my brother Ryan's birthday... After informing me that he plans to ride his newly acquired motorcycle all day long in the beautiful almost 70 degree weather Georgia is having, I became slightly sad. Not that he was riding the motorcycle and I am not {no desire what-so-ever to ride one} but that he is basking in 70 degree weather and of course, more importantly, is not going to have a Funfetti cake for his birthday made with love from his sister. :-(

Happy Birthday Ryan! Do try not to dwell on that Funfetti cake though. :-)

I did have high hopes of informing him he would indeed be an uncle today. As a secret birthday present that no one else would know about for awhile. That's not happening. Darn you body!

Friday, February 19, 2010

i'm a conehead. Ha ha!

i'm a conehead

Dr. Peter Ahlering

I have to say that I have been surprisingly shocked by Dr. Ahlering this week...

Let me recap first. :-)

Remember how excited I was when we got an appointment so quickly??? Or how excited I was with the wonderful POA??? Or how devastated I was when I found out he was no longer a preferred provider on our insurance? Yeah. Talk about a short lived roller coaster!

When I informed his office staff of the request to have my records transferred to Dr. Pearlstone as Dr. Ahlering is no longer covered under our insurance, I assumed A) word would get to Dr. Ahlering of this or B) he has so many other patients he would not know, especially since I only physically saw him once and only did two phone consults.

Imagine my surprise on Valentine's Day when I receive an e-mail from Dr. Ahlering himself saying he is just checking in and asking how things were going.


I responded thanking him for the "check in" and explained the insurance situation thus going to another RE but that that was the only reason we had left his practice.

Today I received an e-mail saying he wishes I would have said something as he can get medications low cost or even free and to let him know. {Not exactly sure where that came up but miscommunication happen}

So I responded making myself more clear, so I hoped, on it not having anything to do with the medications but that in going to him we would have to pay out of pocket 100% for all office visits, ultrasounds, tests, IUIs, IVFs but if we switched to a preferred provider RE all this would be covered, minus co-pay.

So I get a response back, today, "No problem. Of course I wish you the best and understand these tough dilemmas. I hope that things work out for you in an office that works well for you. Best regards."

So needless to say, I am thoroughly impressed with Dr. Ahlering and wishes so much that he was still a preferred provider under this new insurance!!!! So although I only physically was seen by him once, I would totally recommend him to others!!!

Thankfully though, I'm also impressed {so far} with Dr. Pearlstone and glad that he is a preferred provider... :-)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Soldier's Angels!

Sorry for the lack of updates this week... I've been sick with a darn head cold and lots of crap going on in our families that have kept us pretty preoccupied. It's been fun.


I was so very excited to receive an e-mail from Soldier's Angel notifying me that my Soldier has been sent home!!!! How awesome! I just wish I would have known prior to so I could have sent one last "Thanks for your tour of duty and welcome back home" goodie box.

So now I'm debating on getting another or just sending out goodie boxes once in awhile to soldiers...

I'm just very happy to learn that my soldier is back home!!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Recipe collection news!

My mind is not completely here right now. Actually, it is a bit blurred by all the snot and sneezing I have going on. Heck, my right side lymph node in my neck is majorly swollen too! All I have to say is come tomorrow morning things had better change as I'm taking the boys to a library music and dancing hour and have been looking forward to it for a couple of weeks now!

I just wanted to give an update on the recipe collection........... If you take a look, we've had an excellent week!!!! Thank you so much to all those that have contributed this week as well as previously! This week's recipe contribution "gold star" for the most recipes contributed goes to Cindy! Thank you!!!

We hope to have 175 recipes by April 1 and begin selling cookbooks on/by my 26th birthday of May 30!!!! Hey. If I'm not going to have a baby, or by the looks of it pregnant either by then, I need something to look forward to! :-)

So would you help us get to this goal of needing 59 more recipes!?!?

I'm off to down more TheraFlu and doze in and out on the couch until it's officially bed time. Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Not really suprised.

As usual, my body does not follow the expectations set forth by myself {or others for that matter}. Even with those beautiful OPKs, I'm questioning if I actually ovulated thanks to my basal body temps not cooperating. It's so frustrating! I'm just so over it and ready for AF to show already so we can get the testing on the road for goodness sakes! I mean, after all, I have some great insurance that needs to be taken advantage of... :-) ...but not that I would really be upset if I ended up with a surprise positive pregnancy test!

And onto other news...

Theresa officially gets the "Gold Star" award for showing the most enthusiasm for Lost Stork Foundation this week!!!! Let's just say that I'm thoroughly impressed with the great lengths she went to to get the word out, especially on collecting more recipes!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

And moving on...

Anyone seeing the new movie Valentine's Day coming out tomorrow?? Looks really cute... Hopefully it'll come to NetFlix soon for my viewing pleasure. :-)

And lastly...

So Charles broke the "Murphy's Law" I kept swearing by. He used the snow blower his parents gave us when they moved from Olathe, Kansas back to Georgia. When we got those 5" ish inches, he wiped it out and cleared off the driveway. Pretty impressive. :-) At least we got to use it once if we never get snow again because of the whole global warming that's going on and all... haha!

And that shall conclude this rambling of a post. Maybe next I'll have some actual thoughts for sharing. :-)

Monday, February 8, 2010

OPK ++++++!!!!

Even darker OPK today!!! Gotta share the view as this was the last one I have... :-( Charles doesn't think I should go out to Walgreens and get a new supply. Let's just hope this is indeed it and not an evil trick my body is playing on me! :-) If my ovaries today are telling me anything, it is that they are indeed working as they have made me well aware of their presence! haha!

Day 2 ClearBlue OPK
Day 2 ClearBlue OPK

Space Shuttle Endeavour Takes off!

I was so very saddened yesterday when I read that this is the last Space Shuttle take off, at least for a long while due to lack of funds. :-( When I commented on this, Charles informed me that he's never seen a Space Shuttle lift off!?!? WHAT?? I think this is something that every child should see at least once!

It's been a long while since I last saw one but boy was it awesome!!!!

Have you ever seen a Space Shuttle take off??? What do you think???

Oh yes! And how neat is this??? One of the crew members, Robert L. Behnken, says he considers St. Ann, Missouri his hometown and has family that still resides here! He's a Missouri hero!

And now I must go get ready for work and drive in this snow we're getting... I love snow. But only when I do not have to drive in it or else I start to freak out just a little.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

'Bought stinkin' time!

I purchased for the first time these ClearBlue OPK tests. My first cycle using them, never got a positive. The first five tests this cycle using them, nothing. Took a couple days off of using them and after an abundance of EWCM for the last two days and today I decided to try it and BAM! POSITIVE!!!!!!!! {Cycle Day 22 might I add!} YIPPEE!!!!! :-) Darn you Charles, get home! hahaha! Now let's see if my body actually ovulates or is playing tricks on me, again...

Here's to hoping we can give my brother Ryan the birthday {Feb. 20} present he's been waiting many years for now... {Yes I still get excited yet remain realistic that it will only be with medical intervention that I get pregnant. It's fun practising, right? :-)}

Isn't it beautiful!?!?

ClearBlue OPK +

ClearBlue OPK +

ClearBlue OPK +

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Countdown Weekly! {Lost Stork Update!}

This is solely a Lost Stork Foundation update post for those interested! :-)

Everything is together, except the recipes! YAY!!! The format. The symbols. The font. The colors. The dividers. The amount to order. The option of submitting recipes. The binder. The cookbook itself. Yes. Many decisions. Who knew?! All done. Well. Except two things.

The first and most important is needing recipes still!!!! Our goal is 175... Yes, I'm still asking {not yet to the begging stage} for recipes from anyone and everyone that wishes to help couples ease the financial burden fertility treatments and adoption costs bring. Spread the word. Ask others to submit recipes on behalf of you or someone else that has been touched by Adoption or Infertility.

We're looking for recipes for just about anything, really. Appetizers. Main dishes. Casseroles. Desserts. Baby food prep meals/ideas and other kid friendly courses. Vegetarian. Gluten/Wheat free. Pickling. Jams. Breads. Whatever you make time and time again for you and your family, would be just what we are looking for!

Just e-mail them to recipe4loststork@gmail.com and please be sure to include your name and location! And watch the count grow/decrease on the right side of the page just above the Lost Stork Foundation Button you will find a count which will be updated weekly with how many recipes we have and how many we are still looking for!

Thank you to those that have already submitted recipes!!!! You've kept me motivated and excited about this project! :-)

More cookbook news.

We need a cookbook cover. I refuse to buy a 'stock' cover as I want the logo and all on the cover! :-) So. Anyone have any suggestions on programs to use or ideas??? My creativity tank is empty right now... Heck, if you're interested in doing one {for charity after all or a nominal fee} e-mail me {MSwann2003@gmail.com} and let's talk! We have until the recipes are submitted but it's not something I want to wait until last minute on either and thus have it reflect that.

Changing topics yet still on Lost Stork...

I mentioned in another post if anyone knew how to make chocolates from a mold and such. It's something to do with Lost Stork and I'd love to chat with you about it to see if we could not play around with an idea for the near future... :-) I'm so excited about this!!! I mean. Chocolate + Lost Stork Foundation = happy Meghan! ha!

Friday, February 5, 2010

More results, let's talk thyroid.

Thanks so much for all your wonderfully encouraging comments and e-mails!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!

So the results. I was able to finally get my TSH, Free T3, and Free T4 that I had re-tested from this last Wednesday. Unfortunately I was not able to talk to the Dr, just got the results.

My TSH {was 0.09 on 12/23/09} to 0.04 on 02/03/10! It dropped!?!? AND, as of 12/28/09 I started taking my Armour Thyroid once every FOUR days... Really??? It drops because of that? So the Doctor left a note in my file for me to take the meds once every seven days... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Really? Meds can last six full days in my body?

So my thoughts? Yeah. I'm stopping it all together and not telling the Doctor until we re-check it in two months and based on those results I'll come clean. What sucks though is Dr. P does not want to proceed until my thyroid is stabilized... This could push out treatments. :-(

My T3 {was 134} is 392 and my T4 {was 9.7} is 1.44...

So yeah.


Once I clarify Charles' results from his semen analysis, I'll post about that... :-)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Today was the day!!!!

I'm so emotionally exhausted from all the anticipation today held!

I started the day by giving blood {AKA- having my TSH, Free T3, T4 re-tested to see if changing from 30 mg every day to 30 mg every fourth day brings me back to normal ranges} and then heading off to get some much appreciated baby love! :-) Gosh those boys melt my heart!

On my way to the appointment traffic was horrible! Notices say accident just before my exit and down to one lane. So I get off on a random exit {Thank God for GPS!} and while navigating the land of Ladue, MO {huge house after huge house was distracting me from the road! Thankfully no accident for me with all my jaw-on-floor-views!} I made it! I was talking to Charles on the phone and walking in. I hang up with Charles {whom BTW was at "work"} and walk around the corner to the restroom since I had like 10 minutes to kill only to see him standing there with a huge sappy love grin on his face! :-) Gosh I love that man! He surprised me {No clue that he even knew where to go! What time! Or the Doctors info! haha!}, that's for sure! It was a welcomed surprise though.

We walk into the office and it's nice! Smaller, much smaller than Dr. Ahlering's office but equally as nice and comfortable feeling. Unfortunately. A huge sign on the door says children must remain in the waiting room... So things shall get interesting as I took the boys with me to the Dr visits. Anyways. Charles keeps reminding me that we'll figure it all out...

The staff is all very nice! The nicest yet I would say! :-) Submitted my insurance info and when one of the ladies came out to verify our insurance info she asked what I knew about it. Oh, I thought for sure she was going to say we didn't have infertility coverage or that they were not covered! Heart in throat moment! Instead she said that the insurance company informed her we have unlimited infertility procedures! {Do not believe that but find it very comforting that they at least acknowledged we have infertility coverage!!!!} Went on to say that we are very blessed as this is a rarity and how we feel so humbled to have such coverage...

And then we went back. Let's just say that he certainly looks like a Dr. Small guy with huge thick black rimmed glasses. With that nerd look. As in, someone I certainly trust what they say... :-) He is VERY thorough! He verbalizes his list of things to talk about. It's so funny. But it keeps him/us on track! He appreciated my anal list of procedures/medications/dates/E2 levels/etc and added to it the latest results that I had from Dr. Ahlering. I'm so glad I keep such detailed records...

Mentioned that me overstimming is a concern but if we do IVF that we could always do the ER and freeze the embryos to do the ET to at a later date when I'm recovered and my body is more favorable to accepting the embryos. Also thought it would be best since we would be able to control exactly how many embryos were being transferred instead of with IUI where it's solely a guesstimate... He talked of Metformin and said that since I had such a reaction that it's best to leave it alone but in all reality it's something that would otherwise be highly recommended but could be worked around.

He was very classy in addressing the fatness. :-) Said that he sees women all the time get pregnant with my BMI {no I'm not sharing that!} and that he does not believe it is the reason but could be part of the reason. He does not believe we should halt treatments until I'm down to X BMI either but encouraged me to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Okay. I can do that. Walks boys??? :-)

He told me to stop the Vitex and Red Raspberry leaf and to only take the Baby Aspirin after ovulation as it can prevent ovulation from occurring. {Must talk to family Dr about this as I've been taking it everyday for several months now and do not know if I can just abruptly stop or if I must taper off or what? Any thoughts??} Charles is to stop his natural supplements as well. We're only to take, from a reputable maker, the Vitamin D3, Calcium/Magnesium, Multi Vitamin {he gave me a Rx for one along with telling me to start back on the Folguard...}.

So the POA! YAY!!!!

Charles is to have another semen analysis ASAP since it was last {and only once} done in September 2008. It's time for another. That's it for him. Lucky guy.

Once my period arrives {he does not like to induce menses until at least 30 days have elapsed. That sucks. Said if I still have not gotten it by day 40 to call and they'd induce. Yeah. That's like the end of February.} Days 3-5, one of them, I'm to have more blood work. Surprised? {That doesn't look right. I thought it was 'suprised'. Who's right? Me or spellcheck??} I'm not. Actually, two of the things I'd never even heard of and cannot remember the name to even google them! I was shocked by this! But the bigger shocker was when he briefly mentioned "diminished ovarian reserve"! Jaw on floor here! I wanted to cry but did not let this halt the conversation. Said it is a possibility and that the results would give more detail. Mentioned it confirming PCOS/D as he gives me that diagnosis again. {I don't care! Just get me pregnant! :-)} He also said that my AMH and Inhibin-B results indicate PCOS since my AMH was high and my Inhibin-B was ultra low but also shows possibly diminished ovarian reserve. :-( He also wants to test my A1c along with re-testing my LH, FSH, blah blah blah blah blah. Also another Antral Follicle Count.

Then sometime between days 7-12, he wants to do another SHG as he said it is read based on operators deciphering and he wants to check out my uterine cavity himself before recommending next steps.

He said right now he does not think having surgery, such as a Lap, would be idea since it can cause problems instead of fixing them if nothing is there to be fixed. So we'll wait on that unless he finds something on the SHG he wants to check out. I cannot say I'm saddened by this as I want to avoid surgery at all costs! I'm a chicken like that...

So these tests should all take place in March ish with treatments *hopefully* starting back up in April. So maybe, just maybe, we'll have have a January 2011 baby?? Yeah it sucks that we'll be going into 2011 but whatever. Beggars can't be choosers, right??

So let's pray that my period starts all on it's own ASAP so testing can happen and that that cycle is short too so that we can get started on treatments ASAP!!! :-)

And after meeting with him we got the Rx from the nurses for my stuff. Charles got his brown sack with the specimen container. We got directions to head to St. John's {which I kept referring to as St. Lukes. haha!} to pick up my HSG report/images to bring in at our baseline ultrasound...

Let me tell you... It was such a wonderful feeling knowing we have such encouragements and "cheerleaders" right their with us as we take one step at a time with the hopes of finally being able to bring home our baby... THANK YOU!!!! It means so much to Charles and I for all your support via comments, texts, phone calls, and e-mails!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Tomorrow is coming!!!!

I'm so excited for the world of hope that tomorrow holds, yet again! New Dr. {and every time, yes, it's already been multiple times, I've called the office everyone is so nice!} and new possibilities! I can't believe this day is actually coming. In less than 24 hours, I'll be filled with a new POA and excitement!

I am attending this consult alone. No Charles. No boys. Just me and the Dr. Lots of medical talk. Purely focused on one goal. To have a baby!

I do not have a list of questions. Figured they'd come to me when appropriate. I only expect one thing when I walk out of those doors... To have a POA. Something.

So tomorrow I shall {hopefully} bring lots of good news and a new POA in the works! :-)

Oh yes. And after lots of brain storming with my dad earlier today, one simple question. Anyone know of anyone who makes their own chocolate candies??? As in. Uses a pre-made mold, melts the chocolate, cools it, and packages it for future treats???