Saturday, January 11, 2014

"Can't go home again"

Ya know the saying, "You can't go home again"? Yeah, I seem to have it stuck in my head as we face the very fact that we will be moving "home" again very soon...

To say this is bittersweet is an understatement. My eyes swell with tears at the very thought.

Yeah, it'll be great to have our kids grow up with all their grandparents less than an hours drive away. It will be great to jump off where I left with my long time friends. It'll be great to hopefully have a REAL relationship with my youngest brother, the only one that still lives in the area. At least in theory... Is this the part that "you can't go home again" is warning us about? To wipe away these hopes? To pretend we are moving there for the very first time....though that's not really possible.

Relationships are complex, especially family ones. Seemingly, especially ours. We moved away from Georgia as husband and wife of 4.5 years with two dogs and income. We will be moving back as husband and wife of 10.5 years with two kids and one dog and moneyless {until resolution with the Dept of Labor happens anyways}. Talk about a hit to your pride...Having to move in with mom and dad to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

I'll miss like crazy our "Tallahassee house" as my mom refers to it. {We lived in Tallahassee, FL for a short while and the street we lived on, not even a neighborhood, was amazing! It's seriously what we have now. We love our neighbors!} Watching Little Miss run to hug her BFF "Soph" as she's now calling her, is the sweetest thing! Having surrogate grandparents across the street who are there for us at any moment. The awesome play dates... Oh the memories we've made in the short amount of time we've been here!

I have deep within me peace about it that only comes from the Lord. My human side is throwing a bigger temper tantrum than Little Miss did today in the middle of Target! {Her very first lay down in the middle of the store and kick and scream while we watched from afar as strangers stopped to check on her. Seriously. It happened.}

So what will it be like "going home again"...? I don't know. What I do know is I have changes I want to make. Essentially, more face and less technology. I want to use Facebook as a means to keep up with family and friends from afar, not next door. Once we move, all in town friends will be deleted from my Facebook in hopes if it is a true relationship we will have face to face time to catch up, not via status updates. So if you're reading this and will soon be local and want to stay connected, let's go back to the old fashioned exchanging of phone numbers or chance a random run in at Target where you may very well hear my child before seeing her... Sigh. It's a right of passage for children, right?

So in saying all that, their have been some exciting things that have happened. The Lord is opening doors we never imagined. Like, not just regular doors but beautiful double front doors swinging wide open so you just have to walk through them! I don't think now is the time to divulge everything but we can say without a doubt that this is the new path we are to take.

Now the details to work out and a house to sell....

No comments: