Saturday, August 18, 2012

No more treatments. I said it.

After oh so much prayer and talk and thought, we've decided not to pursue any further fertility treatments to expand our family.

I'm relieved yet disappointed.

We no longer have just the two of us to consider but our Little Miss that needs us. 

Needs me.

Treatments increase the risk of cancer.

She needs me here. Now.  Not a biological sibling.

We can grow our family through adoption.

Treatments come with side effects.

I don't need to be bedridden due to Follistim OHSS.

Or maybe the good Lord is going to open my womb up again to indeed another biological child?

I love the idea of not having my ovaries swollen with follicles for an IUI cycle just to have it cancelled on Charles' birthday because I've "over responded" then left to deal with the horrid OHSS symptoms.

That, oddly enough, happened exactly three years ago tomorrow.

I love the idea of not having to have my uterus unnaturally secured for an IUI to take place. 

To not having trans vaginal ultrasounds 12 times in a single cycle.

My veins will thank me for not having them stuck 20905 times in a single cycle.

Charles is excited he doesn't have to step foot into a room to give a sample again.

And to think.  All that and that's not even how we got our Little Miss!

Our miracle baby.  :-)

Oh, but we're still 100% trying for a baby!

Back to Vitex, Pregnitude, acupuncture, diet, exercise, and whatever other natural remedies I come across!

I get to use the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor I was graciously gifted!

I am still charting my temperature and all other fertility signs.

Still excited to add to our family.

Hopeful I'll get to experience pregnancy again.

But even more hopeful that we will pursue adoption in the near future.

Praying on that one.


Lots of mixed emotions!

Had I not known what I know now {aka- had we not gone through infertility to get Little Miss}, we probably would move forward with fertility treatments. 

I feel defeated going that route before even starting though, so surely that is not a good sign...

Anyone out there that used fertility treatments to conceive each of their children?  How do you emotionally and physically handle treatments while caring for your other children?  Treatment cycles were always psychologically draining for me.  How do you handle that while still be there for your current family?


Leslie said...

I can imagine it is a difficult decision to make but I admire you for making such a decision.

I conceived both of our sons through IUI/injectables. When we were TTC #2, I personally did not find it difficult to go through treatments. But I have not experienced OHSS so I can only imagine what that would have been like. For me in any cycle, the 2WW is always the hardest part because at that point it is out of my control. For me having another child to care for during this time helped to keep me busy & not think about it so much!

I hope that your miracle #2 will be right around the corner!! Wishing you the best! We will be starting to TTC#3 in mid-September I hope!

Anonymous said...

Hey mama, This is Kristy from "HappyHomemakingWithKristy." I wanted to come stop by and thank you for your comments on my Blog. I read this post and my heart hurt for you. I lost 3 babies in a row in 7 years. It was devastating! So much so, that I began referring to my womb as a uterine graveyard. :/ Not a happy thing. We have a great God mama, and He can do anything He wants, including bless you with another baby. I lost my 4th baby when I was 19 weeks pregnant and thought I would never try again. After much Bible reading and prayer I changed my mind, and God blessed me with 3 healthy pregnancies resulting in 3 healthy babies after that! Every pregnancy has the ability to scare me, but I know and trust my God. His will is always better than mine. *hugs to you*

Anonymous said...

I agree this is a hard decision to make. But if it's the right one for your family that's all that matters. And the Lord works in His own ways on His own schedule so it will be fun to see where He takes it adoption or another pregnancy.

Sending you lots of love and support!