Tuesday, April 10, 2012


I'm so setting myself up for failure... Really. I'm so hopeful my body "remembered" and is happy to be pregnant again. Funny. I know.

Every single "symptom" during this horribly long two week wait has me convinced I'm not just PMS'ing but indeed pregnant! It's totally the former though.

I look back at all the notes I took the four years before getting pregnant with Madelyn and I see many similarities. Similarities that all point to this ending with a huge bar of chocolate and a tear stained pillow case.

It seems as though this is the season for pregnancy... Cute little pregnant bellies are everywhere! Itty bitty babies that I can barely get a glimpse of having my uterus doing flip flops. Little Miss repeating her new favorite phrase over and over again of "Hi baby" have me hopeful she is perfecting it to say to her new baby sister or brother. Randomly being told that "motherhood is good to me" and I am "glowing so maybe I'm pregnant now" make me break out the stupid home pregnancy tests only to see the evil reminder of our last infertility journey, a stark white test.

God's got it. I know. I am at an amazing sense of peace right now despite my best human efforts to fight it. I am freezing time with my Little Miss and holding onto the little bit of babyhood she has left in her as it seems to be fading by the day... I do not want to miss that moment when she fully enters toddler hood and I'm left with only memories of her baby moments. Time is passing much too quickly to take for granted a single second with her!

So to everyone wonderful what my phantom pregnancy symptoms are that I refuse to acknowledge to the world unless it actually comes to be, well, you'll just have to wait and see if they get acknowledged if the day comes and I am indeed pregnant!. :-)

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Fingers crossed the twinges are rps!!!