Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Can't shake it.

I wrote several posts back about our trip to Georgia for Jason Moye's funeral. A long time dear family friend. He is missed greatly and loved deeply. That will never change.

His death not only impacted me as a friend, but also as a mother.

A new mother.

I think about his mom, often.

I think about her memories of the last time she hugged her son. Last time she told him she loved him. The last time she laughed with him just because. The last time she did his laundry although he was not living at home.

I think about her thoughts for the future. He was to get married. The dreams of him having his own family. What would he be like at age 30, 40, 50, etc?

Then I stumbled across a blog whose daughter, Maddie, passed away from SIDS a couple weeks ago at a precious 4 months of age.

Madelyn's age.

I have deliberately, from the first moment, held Madelyn a little longer before putting her down for naps. Smelled her new baby smell often. Played with her fingers and toes daily. Enjoyed doing her laundry. Remained in awe of her smiles and coos and laughs.

This I did before any tragedy happen. This I did because I waited 4 years for her. I did because how quickly my pregnancy passed, I knew her childhood would too.

Now, I do so even more. As I read, "What is the hurry in having her grow up?" NONE! I know she is only little for so long. I know I will miss these moments. {que the song!} Moments that she still sleeps in our bedroom, sometimes in our bed. Moments that I can hold her for a long time without my arms giving out because she's grown so big. Moments that she is in awe of her mommy and daddy and needs us. I do not want to regret one moment of missing out on her, in the now. Whatever stage that may be.

Friends with kids- hug your children a bit tighter today. Tell them one more time that you love them. Laugh for no reason with them. Remember that they are more important than a clean house. Take lots of pictures but also take time to be in the moment.

Friends who are pregnant- being uncomfortable is the price to pay for such an amazing experience. Treasure it. Take lots of pictures. Your bundle of joy will be here soon.

Friends who are still waiting- When it happens, you too will surely take time to treasure each and every moment. Not letting life get in the way of the joy that your child has brought you. Soaking in each second in hopes of not missing a thing. For you, I pray this for.


Holly Rutchik said...

Someone has grown into motherhood so well!! It's true, it all happens so fast. I have a 3 year old and sometimes I cry when I see that she doesn't need me for everything anymore. She is a wonderful little girl and there is no need for me to be sad, but I just think about the time when she'll leave home or God calls her home. We all do need to snuggle each other a bit more. Blessings, Holly

The Swann's said...

Awww, thanks! :-) I love that I am not crazy in my thoughts and other mommys feel this way too!!!