Saturday, February 26, 2011

We're Pregnant {re-cap}

I find it so hard to fathom that it was one year ago today that the $12 First Response home pregnancy test would reveal that we were finally pregnant. That line, the darkest I had ever seen. The first time I would see the word "Pregnant" on the Clear blue Easy Digital home pregnancy test.

Sitting on the toilet, unable to breathe better yet move. Sobs. Laughter. Few words leaving my lips as I reveal to Charles he is going to be a daddy. Hugs. Shaking. Cloudy thought process.

As I type out these words I am reliving those same emotions. That moment I hope to never forget. That same moment I hope to experience many more times. That moment when a blinking hour glass on a digital test seems to take hours to show the words that change lives.

Spending the day in our Ob/Gyn's office. Going for blood work. Having our first ultrasound to reveal a beautiful black dot in the midst of my uterus. The most beautiful black dot I had ever seen... That itty bitty black dot that is now our Little Miss Madelyn Grace. Our miracle baby from God. Our long awaited but not over due gift.

Whirlwind of "to call or not to call" debates. Wanting to scream from the roof tops that we were pregnant yet keeping it a secret until the time was right. Teasing each other as the other spoke on the phone to family and friends dying inside to tell of this great news yet keeping our cool. Coming up with lies, err, stories, to tell to cover up the magnificent truth we were hiding. Planning everything just right so we could forever treasure the moment of telling our parents they were going to be grandparents {again}.

I feel oh so blessed that we have a beautiful healthy little girl that we love to absolute pieces. I feel so blessed that I got to experience pregnancy, childbirth, and now breastfeeding. I am in awe of this life that we first had a glimpse of at a mere 4 ish weeks into her life that was a perfect little black dot on the screen. I thank God every single day for her, for her life, for our life we are living with her.

I have taken my first post partum pregnancy test {hoping} it would bring all these emotions back again with another "Pregnant" result. It was not. Instead, I hug our Little Miss a bit closer and smell her still new baby smell with a deep breath in and live in this moment that is now.

One year has passed and was amazing. I am looking forward to what the next year holds, and each one there after...


Cathy said...

Beautiful post Meghan!

Lynn Roberts said...

I will never forget either being exhausted from a very long day, being handed a photo album and trying to figure it out. Even seeing that beautiful word PREGNANT and trying to soak in what that meant. Realizing what it DID mean with the help of a nod from you and being overwhelmed with a joy that was beyond what I ever dreamed of. (and has only been matched by being present at Little Miss' birth) I watched the video again, (and have many times over the past year) of the revelation that I would FINALLY be Nana and cried once again, remembering...