Friday, September 10, 2010

Worries, without reason.

Pregnancy thoughts...

I'm now 32 weeks 2 days pregnant. Other than the pre term labor scare at 22 weeks, thanks to braxton hicks contractions, all has been wonderful! I am just following in my mother's footsteps of having BH like crazy. I just keep telling myself it's my body getting ready. :-)

I have found myself increasingly worried about baby though... I have no reason for these worries other than self inflicted concerns. Maybe it's due to the unfortunate friends stories and fellow blogs I've come across that had late term losses or health concerns come up. {and for that, I am no longer venturing to new blogs for fear of coming across another story to add fuel to my worry fire until after baby arrives} I am so excited to meet this baby and feel as though it was "easy" for us to get pregnant {it was a natural cycle after all even though it was 4+ years later} and I really cannot complain about pregnancy as it's been fantastic, free of complications so far. I am counting my blessings while waiting for the "bad news" report to be given...

I have this concern that baby will try to come too early. The BH certainly do not help alleviate that thought! I guess neither does the dream I had that baby came at 32 weeks... I am comforted to know that despite a NICU stay, baby would have a fantastic chance of thriving any day from here on out if it did come too early... I do not fall into any of the categories of putting me at a higher risk of this happening so again, it's without a real justified reason to worry and I know this logically.

I'm starting to get a bit more worried about delivery... I really do not want a csection!!! That petrifies me more than going thru labor without pain medications does! I'm worried I'll go into labor the week Charles is in Florida [hopefully] finding us a house... I'm worried something will be wrong with baby... I'm worried we're not ready just yet... I'm worried we'll get hit by a massive snow storm early this year and that will cause problems... I'm worried as I do not even know how to get to the hospital if I had to drive myself or give directions to someone else! {Yes, I'm that horrible with directions!}

It's been soooo difficult for me to just give it all to God. Am I hitting the usual parenting worries and making up unjustified worries already??? Don't even get me started on once baby is actually here... I'm worried about moving with a newborn and PPD and SIDS and breastfeeding and vaccinations and cloth diapers and developmental milestones and discipline and sleep and the dogs and yeah the list just continues on!

...Maybe their is such a thing as too much knowledge??

Okay, I admit. Reading back over this post I can't help but chuckle at my insane thoughts right now! Oh goodness me, pray for this child as it has me as it's mother! haha! I think I just needed a moment to get it all out and move on... Is it normal to have such moments of worry???

7 comments:

Emily B said...

32 weeks already! Go, girl!

I know you know it will all be okay. Although I totally understand the fear!

Worry is just a way of mentally preparing for the worst, just in case. If we didn't worry, we'd never be able to handle what life throws at us. Just remember to balance the worry with happy thoughts about holding your little one and all the wonders that a new life presents!

Wade & Melissa said...

It is only natural to worry about these things...I did the same! Everything will turn out just fine. I had a c-section and it was AMAZING!!! I was up walking that night and had no complications. Wow...can't believe you have only 8 weeks to go!!!

Cathy said...

Well I certainly know how to get to your hospital and will either take you there myself or be there in a jiffy if something were to come up - so check that off your list ;-)

I think worrying is normal for sure... honestly so much time in the last weeks of pregnancy feels like a waiting game, which only allows for more of those thoughts to seep in. I promise you, God knows all of your concerns and already has everything figured out for you.

Hugs for you and baby!

Melis.sa said...

((HUGS))

Praying for a smooth delivery in 8 weeks :)

The worrying begins with pregnancy and never ends :)

T said...

I think this baby is very lucky to have a momma that cares so much! This is huge, you have a right to be completely freaked out right now. I would only be worried if you were not stressed!

mom said...

I hate to tell you this, but your worries will only change! After baby comes you'll worry about different stuff, and then when baby is a child, teen, adult... yep... worry still just different worries. Your life drastically changed when you got pregnant. First time you see that baby in person you will understand a love that only a parent can know!

squirrelgirl said...

Sorry I'm late to the party, but I have to echo everyone else's thoughts: those sorts of worries are totally normal. With Miss K, I was kicking myself the entire drive while I was in labor, that I didn't bring the stethoscope to make sure the baby was still OK (it's hard to feel baby movements when you're having regular contractions). Since I have so recently been there (and still am for some things, like PPD, SIDS and breastfeeding), please call me if you ever feel overwhelmed or panicky. It's helpful to have someone to talk to who knows exactly what you mean.