Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I know...I know...Sorry...

I've had many small nudges to get my butt back to blogging by quite a few people. Figured I'd best get to it before they were no longer small. :-) Sorry I'm such a slacker these days...

Quite the response to my last post so I'll try to keep this one less controversial? :-) I do want to clarify though that I do not believe I, or anyone for that matter that has struggled to conceive, will automatically be a better mother than someone who had an "whoops" pregnancy. Unfortunately, I've seen first hand parents that have paid thousands and had the heartache of infertility be very unappreciative of their children. This just baffles me really. I've seen first hand as well parents who accidentally got pregnant or on their first cycle trying received the news that they are pregnant be fantastic parents!

I do believe that I, someone who has longed and wanted to be a mother since the day I learned I was a female and that I could, will have a fuller heart when our child arrives. I believe this only because it's fair to have that joy fill the hole that was dug by grief and loss over the last four years. Just as the saying goes, "You do not know what you have until it's gone". I cannot wait to feel that overwhelming joy when I hold our baby for the first time and weep, for the first time, tears of absolute joy and relief that our baby is here in our arms, finally! And that day is what keeps me looking ahead during every moment I spend throwing up, knowing it is going to be worth it times a million! I am not speaking that this is true for everyone that goes thru infertility, as I stated above... I am speaking solely for myself. I know I will love our children deeply and will do everything in my power to treasure each and every moment I have with them because of our struggle with infertility. I cannot wait for that day...

And moving on...

I flew to Florida to visit my Grandma a few weeks ago. It was great seeing her, finally. It'd only been like 5 years since I last visited with her. I was also able to see a few of my cousins whom I had not seen in years and years as well while there! It was such a great visit and I hope it's not too many more years before we get to visit all together again.

As for traveling, I'll go MIA again next week as we travel to Georgia to spend several days. It'll be busy but wonderful, as always, visiting with our loved ones there! We're specifically heading to Georgia for a long time friend of mines wedding on Saturday and mom's throwing Ray a Retirement Party on Sunday! We'll catch up with the rest of our family during the week and visit with friends then too. Just hope the drive doesn't go from 9 hours to 15 with all the pee breaks and leg stretches that will be necessary this time for both me and the dogs!

And on that note, I will try extra hard to not only post on my blog but yours too more frequently again! I do read about once a week to catch up on everyone, I'm just a slacker for commenting lately...

1 comment:

T said...

Wow, after going back to see what you meant about the last post I do not blame you for being away for awhile!
I have my blog to get my feelings out and hopefully be supported. Sorry, you felt misunderstood.
I am glad you are back and doing well. I have been thinking about you! Are we out of the first trimester now??