Friday, September 12, 2008

"Bring the Rain"

"Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings your glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"

Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain"

Although life right now feels more like a hurricane barrowling down upon Charles and I, it is merely a few rain drops that God has complete control over. I came across these reminding words via a blog, to be exact. Please, do not read unless you A) have time and B) are prepared to laugh hysterically while bawling your eyes out. The courage, the strength, the endless trust and faith that this family has shown in our Heavenly Father amazes me. Although I want to say that I could not handle their situation, I also once believed that I could not handle to be in my own situation. I believe indeed that God does not give us more than we can handle, with Him by our side. For each one of us, that level varies and while it is easy to get caught up with wanting to live through someone else's life, we can only live the life before us.

God led me to this blog for a reason. To work on my heart. The last couple of days have been very tough for me. Emotionally, Psychologically, Spiritally, Physically... While I rejoice with part of my heart, I am angry and confused and frustrated and grieve with the rest. I have yelled at God. I have cried with my husband. I have grieved with dear friends who, unfortunately, understand. And I have been encouraged by each and every one of these situations as well.

My "rain" has a title. Infertility. I have felt like Eyeore who constantly has this black cloud hanging over his head. Rain that looks as though it is going to let up and the sun is going to poke through but then, BAM! it starts pouring rain with thunder and lightening. No end in sight, as though it seems. This is when the devil hopes to destroy all faith and trust with our Mighty and Awesome Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father.

Although I have a label for my "rain", Charles and I feel like we have a whole system of storms hitting us like we cannot experience a single "rain" free season! We have to battle "rain" in everything we do or so desire to do! Will ANYTHING come easy for us? A single vacation...Housing...Family...Finances...

Finances are, well, let's just say that they are struggling. We feel defeated. As though this storm has flooded our lives where we are struggling to find ways to live. We really have questioned if God is hearing our prayers. Like, I know He is, really, I do. He shows me He is with me in different ways. By certain things I've read, heard, seen that show Him but feel as though he's put our prayers on his "back burner" to be delt with at a later time... Like they are not important enough for His immediate attention.

I feel as though I am entering a new phase in my life, my relationship with Jesus. I have done a lot of thinking, crying, and talking and feel as though this is my decision. I cannot control my life in a humanly fashion. I have failed miserably trying this before. Why continue to worry and fret about it when I can release all my struggles to Him to guide me through life. All I have to focus on is His will and listening to what He has to say... I am so thankful that God likes to speak to me in the little ways (TV, Radio, random road signs, other people, etc) that I can understand.

While I understand life does not automatlly get easier, as in the problems immediately go away, the way I look at these "problems" changes. If this so be my "rain" that will be used to glorify God, so be it.

Please take a moment and wath these videos... Combined, they are under 30 minutes and well worth the time! They are videos from CrossPoint Church with the couple featured from the blog I mentioned earlier.

"Will we intrepret God through our circumstances or believe that He is who He says He is?"

I feel my heart changing... May this "Rain" that we encounter in life be our testimony of Christ's love. Should I also mention that here in Missouri, it happens to once again be raining??? Coincidence? I think not...

1 comment:

squirrelgirl said...

{{{HUGS}}} I'm sorry there are so many areas of trial in your lives right now. You WILL get through it, just be patient and keep your faith.